0:01
Erin, welcome to unlearning work, where we empower you to redesign your job by rethinking work habits, behaviors and strategies. I'm your host. Erin Merideth, a work behavior enthusiast and leadership strategist, join me as I explore various work related topics and provide practical insights and real life examples. We'll examine the nature of work from the ground up and deliver bite size episodes with actionable advice twice a month. Hi there. Welcome to unlearning work. I'm Erin, and today we're getting personal. We're talking about something that isn't flashy, but might be the most important skill you can build this year, self awareness. Now, before you tune out thinking, I'm pretty self aware already, pause for a second. Did you know that while 95% of people think they're self aware, only about 10 to 15% actually are that stat blew my mind. So if you've ever wondered why some goals stick and others vanished by February, self awareness might be the missing link. Today, we're going to talk about how to actually build it and how it can change not just how you work, but how you lead, grow and show up. Self awareness is actually a superpower at work. If we think about self awareness, it's not just some touchy feely concept. It's actually one of the top predictors of leadership, success, effective teamwork and lasting change. And if you ever need a reminder, think about this, that one teammate who dominates every meeting but never notices the eye rolls, the boss who sends 3am emails and wonders why the team's burned out, or maybe that project you procrastinated on every week, even though you really want to do it, all of that is rooted in blind spots. So self awareness means being able to see what's driving your behavior, your motivations, your fears, your default patterns, and how that impacts others. Without it, we're flying blind with it. You get clarity, you get choice, you can finally shift. So the quick reflection we can do here is, when's the last time you surprised yourself, good or bad, by how you reacted at work? That's your starting point. What is the real world cost of low self awareness? Let's talk about what happens when we don't have it. So first, the research tells us teams with just one unself aware person are 50% less likely to meet their goals. Managers who lack self awareness have employees with lower engagement, higher stress and more turnover. And personally, you might chase goals that aren't even yours. For example, a client of mine once spent two years grinding for a promotion. When she finally got it, she was miserable, and why? Well, because a job required constant stakeholder politics and what she really valued was autonomy and creativity. If she had paused to explore her values earlier, she would have saved herself a lot of pain. Self awareness helps you ask, is this goal mine or someone else's idea of success. Let's look at a case study in these unseen patterns. Let me introduce you to Alex, a chemical engineer who looks like a star on paper. They had the credentials, the experience and the results, but something felt off. So every day, Alex left work drained. Their team seemed disengaged. Meetings felt flat, and despite hitting every deadline, Alex felt stuck. So we started digging. Alex realized that they micromanaged, not out of control, but out of fear of mistakes. They also realized they stayed quiet in meetings, not because they didn't have ideas, but because they feared being wrong. And they also noticed their goals were shaped by external validation, not their actual passions. This was a revelation. So for yourself listening, think of one area where you're stuck right now. Ask yourself, What fear might be driving this behavior. What would change if I approached it with curiosity instead of control building self awareness, you don't need a coach or journal to get started, although they are both helpful, but here's how to do this practically. First track your emotional spikes, so start with a seven day challenge. Every day, write down one moment when you felt a strong emotion, good or bad, and then ask what happened? What story did I tell myself and what did I do next? These micro moments are windows into your habits. To ask for feedback like a pro. Don't just say, got any feedback? Be specific. Try this. What's something I do at work that helps the team, and what's one thing I might not realize I'm doing that could cause friction? So when Alex went and did this, they found out team, it teammates thought they were disinterested in meetings when really they were just quiet and overthinking. Three, try a values. Check in, grab a piece of paper, write down three moments at work this month, when you felt energized, then three, when you felt drained. And ask yourself, what do these moments say about what I value? Am I setting goals that match these values, or am I five? Against them. Small moves have big impact, and this is why it worked for Alex. So Alex didn't become a different person. They become a more aware version of themselves. That's what made all the difference. And here's what they did. First, they delegated one task a week and resisted the urge to step in two. They spoke up at every meeting, even if it was just to ask a question. And three, they held weekly team check ins to build trust and invite input. And over time, these small actions had a ripple effect. But the real magic wasn't just in what Alex did, it was in how they approached the change. Why did this work for Alex? Well, one, they shifted from autopilot to awareness. So instead of reacting on instinct, like micromanaging when anxious, they paused, reflected and made intentional choices that awareness gave them control two they rewired old habits using behavioral science. So Alex didn't try to fix everything at once. They focused on small, consistent actions, what BJ Fogg, the behavioral scientist calls tiny habits. When habits are small and tied to an existing routine, they stick three they aligned actions with values. So once Alex realized they were chasing goals that didn't light them up, they adjusted working on sustainability projects, tapped into their passion for meaningful problem solving. That sense of purpose, increased motivation and energy. Four, they built psychological safety on their team by showing vulnerability, asking for feedback, admitting mistakes. Alex signaled that it was safe to do the same. The team responded with more openness, collaboration and creativity. Five, they used feedback as fuel, not failure before feedback felt like criticism, but once they reframed it as insight, Alex turned every comment into a tool for growth. So for you listening, what does that mean for you? The same strategy can work for anyone, especially if you're feeling stuck, misaligned or burned out. The key is to stop focusing on what you should be doing, and start paying attention to what you're actually doing and why. Let's bring this home, because this isn't just Alex's story, it's yours too. So what you can do and why it matters. So you might not be a chemical engineer or managing a team, but I bet you've had those moments where you're working hard but not getting traction. You keep setting the same goals, but not quite getting there, or you feel like you're capable of more, but can't figure out what's getting in your way. If it that sounds like you pause right here and take a breath. One, you're not broken. Two, you do not need to hustle harder. And three, you just need clarity. And clarity starts with self awareness. So here's why self awareness changes the game. It puts you back in control. When you know your patterns, your emotions and your triggers, you don't have to keep reacting on autopilot. You get to choose how you show up. It protects your energy so no more chasing goals that don't matter. When your actions align with your values, you stop burning out in the wrong things and start fueling what really matters. It also creates confidence, not from perfection, but from progress. So every time you notice a pattern and shift it even a little, you build trust with yourself, and that trust compounds. So here's what you can do this week. It's a three it's a simple three step process to get started. Step one, notice your habits. Pick one moment each day to pause and reflect and ask, What did I feel today? What triggered it? How did I respond and how do I want to respond next time, even just three minutes at the end of your day, can shift everything. Two, ask one brave question, reach out to a colleague, a friend or mentor, and ask, what's something I do that I might not be aware of, but that impacts you or the team? It's bold, but it's powerful. You'll gain insight you can't get on your own. And three revisit one goal through the lens of your values. Look at a goal you've set recently and ask, Does this align with what matters most to me? Am I chasing this because it's meaningful or because I think I should? If it's misaligned, rewrite it, make it yours. Self awareness is a superpower, but only if you use it. It's not just about understanding your personality. It's about owning your patterns, interrupting the ones that aren't serving you and choosing a better path, even if it's just one step at a time. So your challenge this week, pick one self awareness habit to try. That is track your emotional spikes, or ask a colleague for one piece of honest feedback, or revisit your goals through the lens of your valleys. Write it down, set a calendar reminder and share it with someone who can hold you accountable, because that's how change actually happens. Slow, steady, self aware.
9:48
If Alex's story resonated with you, share this episode with someone who might need a little spark. And if you want a tool to help you put these strategies into action, download the free unlearning work app. Inside you'll find videos and a down. Notable self awareness worksheet linked in the show notes. Remember, you already have the answers. You just need to make space to notice them. Thanks for listening to unlearning work. I'll see you next time you
