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Erin, welcome to unlearning work, where we empower you to redesign your job by rethinking work habits, behaviors and strategies. I'm your host. Erin Merideth, a work behavior enthusiast and leadership strategist. Join me as I explore various work related topics and provide practical insights and real life examples. We'll examine the nature of work from the ground up and deliver bite size episodes with actionable advice twice a month.
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Let's talk about something that quietly messes with a lot of high performers, not burnout, not motivation, not even workload. It's this idea that your job is supposed to fill you emotionally, psychologically and identity wise, and when it doesn't, you start questioning yourself. Today, I want to offer a reframe that changes everything, and that is to treat your company like a client, not an identity. This one shift can lower stress, restore clarity and help you do better work without asking your job to be something it can't be if work becomes emotional fuel. What does this look like? Well, you care, you're thoughtful. You want to do meaningful work, so without realizing it, you start asking your job to to provide things like validation, belonging, confidence, momentum, a sense of I'm doing okay, and sometimes it does, especially early on. But when the environment changes, leadership shifts, strategy gets fuzzy, decisions get political, and support gets thinner, and suddenly the same job that once energized you feels disappointing, draining or personal, not because you're failing, but because your cup is empty and your work isn't filling it anymore. So where have you been hoping work would give you something it no longer can. Let's make this concrete. I worked with someone recently, senior, capable, respected, who kept saying, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't feel like myself at work anymore. On paper, nothing was wrong. Same role, same level, still performing, still trusted, but the organization had changed. Leadership gaps, less clarity, less access, fewer real conversations, and every day, she went home feeling unsettled, not because of what happened, but because of what didn't happen. There was no momentum, no connection, no sense of I'm moving somewhere. And that's the key moment, when we stepped back, it became obvious she wasn't struggling with performance. She was struggling because work had quietly become her emotional anchor, and it had stopped holding. She was still showing up, still doing strong work, but she was waiting for the job to reassure her that she was on the right path and the job couldn't do that anymore. That's when we introduced the reframe, what if this isn't who you are, it's just who you work for? That question alone changed how she walked into meetings the very next week. The hidden problem with loving your job that we don't talk enough about. But when your job becomes your emotional source, you actually lose leverage. Meaning feedback feels personal, ambiguity feels threatening, and leadership gaps feel destabilizing. You're not solving work problems anymore. You're protecting your sense of self. That's why stagnation hurts so much, why floating feels worse than failing, why this should be better by now gets so loud and here's the uncomfortable truth, most organizations are not designed to meet emotional needs, even good ones. They are designed to ship out work, manage risk, allocate resources, respond to markets. So when you keep asking them to provide meaning, connection or fulfillment, you end up disappointed over and over again. Now here's the shift. What if your company is just a client, not a reflection of your worth, not a mirror of your potential, not the place you go to feel whole, just a client. And clients have limitations. They have messy priorities. They ask for things that don't always make sense and are never fully satisfied, and yet you can still do excellent work for them. So when you treat your job as a client, you stop taking every decision personally, you stop waiting for emotional fulfillment, and you stop stop trying to fix what isn't fixable. Instead, you ask better question, what does the client actually value? What problem are they trying to solve? What does. Good Enough look like here. How do I deliver strong work without over attaching that separation creates relief. So if your job were a client, what expectations would you immediately release? Now let's be clear, this is not about disengaging, and it's not about doing the bare minimum. It's about being honest. If your job is no longer filling certain needs, connection, growth, stimulation, belonging, stop forcing it to that's not a failure. That's information. The real question becomes, where else can I get those needs met? Maybe through more in person, connection or learning environments that stretch you creative work, mentorship, community, personal projects. When those needs are met elsewhere, work gets lighter. You stop asking it to be your everything, and ironically, you often perform better. This is about doing strong work without emotional debt. The goal is to do excellent work for your client. Pay attention to strategy, show up, prepared, deliver value, but don't mortgage your emotional well, being on their clarity, leadership or structure, because here's the thing, your company will always have problems you can't solve that's not your job. Your job is to contribute wisely, not carry it emotionally. So when you separate identity from work, feedback becomes data, conflict becomes navigable, ambiguity becomes manageable, and decisions feel cleaner. You gain steadiness, and steadiness is power. In closing, if work has been feeling heavier than it, should ask yourself this, what have I been asking this job to give me that it was never designed to provide? And then ask the better question, where should that come from? Instead, that's not quitting, that's not giving up, that's growing up professionally. This episode is one small part of unlearning work, noticing the patterns you've been living inside, so you can choose differently without blowing up your life you you
