What If Conflict Isn't a Problem?

 By Erin Merideth

What if conflict isn't a problem? What if it's part of the job description? 

That’s the unexpected leadership lesson I came away with after visiting SUR, the iconic restaurant where Vanderpump Rules is filmed. While my kids scanned the bar for reality stars and Lisa Vanderpump herself, I watched something far more intriguing: a workplace performance where drama wasn’t just tolerated, it was engineered. 

Drama as a Workplace Strategy

At SUR, conflict fuels performance. Tears over rude customers aren’t a workplace crisis to resolve, they’re a plot point. Tension between coworkers isn’t dysfunctional. It’s good television. It made me wonder: in traditional workplaces, we avoid conflict at all costs. But what if, like in a reality TV show, a bit of controlled conflict was actually good for performance, creativity, and engagement? 

There’s a deeply ingrained cultural bias against conflict in the workplace. We associate it with dysfunction, inefficiency, and lack of professionalism. And it’s true—unproductive conflict, the kind that’s personal, unresolved, or rooted in toxic dynamics, can derail teams and erode trust. That’s why most leadership training focuses on harmony. We’re taught to value consensus, manage disagreements quickly, and aim for emotional safety. These strategies are important—but they’re also limited. 

In reality, avoiding conflict altogether can be just as harmful. When leaders discourage tension, they often silence the very disagreements that spark innovation, growth, and clarity. Worse, they may create environments where resentment simmers below the surface: unaddressed, unproductive, and ultimately, explosive. 

Conflict as a Resource—Not a Problem

It begs the question: what if we redefined conflict, not as a problem to avoid, but as a resource to manage? 

Watching Vanderpump Rules being filmed brought this idea to life. On the surface, the cast are servers, hosts, bartenders, doing their jobs like any other restaurant staff. But underneath that, a second “job” is happening: creating compelling drama. 

The production team actively engineers this. For example, during our visit, a new hire was introduced at the host stand—nothing unusual, right? But the camera crew made a spectacle of it. Turns out, she already had history with one of the current hosts. Cue tension. Other employees began whispering about being replaced. Moments later, one of the servers—our waitress—broke down crying at a different table. 

Instead of stopping filming or letting her cool off privately, the crew directed her back to the host stand to be comforted. Honestly, it was a bit comical to see BTS operatives dart to the backroom to get better lighting for the filming, but it worked. Conflict created a story, and the story kept the camera rolling.

What Are We Really Performing?

It made me question: what exactly was in these employees’ job descriptions? And more importantly, what’s the real performance here? 

This intentional use of conflict isn’t just reality TV magic, it’s a performance strategy. And it exists in many high-performing, creative, or innovative workplaces too. Conflict is often the catalyst that breaks through groupthink, surfaces new ideas, or challenges entrenched norms. In fact, some of the most innovative companies encourage structured debate and “creative abrasion” as part of their culture. Conflict pushes people to define what they believe. It asks teams to disagree, defend, and decide. It introduces friction, and with it, spark. 

When Drama Gets Results

I’ve seen this outside of entertainment as well. When I worked on software releases, the most efficient, well-executed launches, the ones with zero issues, were often ignored by leadership. Everyone expected perfection, so it didn’t make a splash. There was no “story” there. 

But introduce a little drama—some last-minute bugs, a tough pivot, a public “we almost didn’t make it”—and suddenly, people pay attention. Leadership notices. Stakeholders rally. Your success becomes visible, because it was hard-won. 

That’s the power of conflict as narrative. 

This reframing forces us to ask: what are we really measuring when we talk about performance? 

In a traditional job, we measure clear outputs: tables served, lines of code written, revenue generated. But in reality TV—especially in a setting like SUR—performance is something else: emotional impact. Engagement. Storylines. Tension and resolution. 

Oddly enough, these two modes aren’t always in conflict. In fact, drama can enhance visibility, which can lead to more opportunity, influence, or creative license. The same can be said in the workplace: the best performers aren’t just good at their jobs—they’re memorable, influential, and story-driven. 

Leadership That Embraces the Story

So maybe drama isn’t just entertainment. Maybe it’s how people get noticed. As leaders, we have to recognize that performance isn’t always silent. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it cries. Sometimes it confronts someone in front of the host stand. 

The question becomes: Are we managing for quiet efficiency—or meaningful engagement? The idea here isn’t manipulation. It’s storytelling with stakes. 

Great leaders understand the importance of inviting others into a journey. They don’t just deliver results—they narrate the struggle, the risk, the doubt. They highlight the tension, then guide the resolution. This creates trust, connection, and buy-in. Sharing challenges openly, letting teams feel urgency, creating narrative arcs around progress—these techniques engage people in ways that sterile status updates never could.

Leaders who can harness tension—who aren’t afraid to lean into drama when appropriate—make their teams feel something. And that emotional engagement is what moves people.

Moving Beyond Safe Harmony

The goal isn’t to create conflict for conflict’s sake. It’s to understand that tension, when well-managed, can reveal deeper truths, unlock creativity, and build powerful momentum. 

So what can we learn from a restaurant-slash-soundstage like SUR? 

That conflict doesn’t always need to be extinguished. Sometimes, it needs to be choreographed. When we treat conflict as a natural, even necessary part of growth, we open up new possibilities. We invite people to care, to stretch, to pay attention. We move beyond safe, stagnant harmony—and toward something that actually resonates. 

Call to Action: Invite a Little Healthy Conflict

Next time you’re leading a team or project, ask yourself: 

•  Where is the drama? 
•  What tension could you frame into a narrative? 
•  What conflict—if approached deliberately—could actually fuel creativity or connection? 

Invite a little healthy conflict. Lean into the story. And notice how it can shift not just what you deliver but how deeply people connect with it.

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